The thought of turning 30 is terrifying. It’s like this enormous boulder, with the connotation of being the doorway between youth and adulthood. I feel like I’m gaining in age faster and this before I know it I’ll be sat in a nursing home with nothing but my memories, if I’m lucky.
Is that dramatic? Yes, it really is, but, it’s valid and I’m not the only woman to ever feel this way. With our short biological clocks it can be so easy to feel like 30 is the top of the mountain and the only way forwards is downhill from here. There’s the inherent fear of getting (more!!) grey hairs and wrinkles. Why can’t us women be referred to as distinguished when we have some salt and pepper hair??
I feel like my life should be more together, like I should have done more throughout my 20s and should have partied harder. When I turned 20 I wrote a bucket list of 30 things to do before I turned 30. I achieved approximately 0 of these things. Time just went by too fast and there was too many other commitments that took priority.
However, I have learned some things that I will try to remember as I progress through my thirties and indeed into later life…
1. Life will never be perfect, it may never seem like I’ve got everything together. Why? Because we are constantly growing, learning and achieving more, therefore setting new goals and aspirations for ourselves and that’s ok.
2. I’m only a day older than I was when I was 29 years and 364 days. The only thing that’s really changed is my feelings towards that number and the expectations I put upon myself. This is just the start of my new chapter.
3. Before rushing off to get Botox in a panic, I don’t really look any older and even if I did, the only person it would affect would be me. It wouldn’t change anyone else’s perception of me and quite frankly there is nothing wrong with wrinkles. Surely, wrinkles are just a sign that you’ve lived and for that I am thankful.
I am happy and I am grateful to be where I am. I am thankful to every person I have met over the years, every memory and conversation, each of which have shaped me. I am grateful to still be writing my book and it doesn’t matter whether I’m doing that at 29 or I’m doing that at 30.